Motivation, devotion, and passion, they said, are the key to finding success and happiness, and in the journey of my life, I found the things that I want, like, and love that I keep striving hard for. It has become my strength despite the crappiness of many things I’ve done. It inspired me to push myself to the limits, but what if this passion suddenly disappears? With the seasons of life, there is no doubt that it might wither away, and that is what I experienced.
The feeling that the things I used to love doing before had disappeared…vanished, gone, and will not come back anymore. I want to do it, but every time I try, it feels like I am trying too hard. It’s like doing something that doesn’t belong to me, but I keep forcing it on myself. I am like the tree that had fallen out of leaves, trying to bear another leaf that doesn’t fit on me. I entered this path, I have the choice to leave, but I can’t…I can’t bear the fact that I pondered this for a long time and am giving up. It’s hard to let go of something that I had for a long time… a long time, that I had taken for granted and didn’t give any effort to hone.
Crossing paths with passionate people inspires me, yet every time people ask for passion, the answer is quite unclear. I’m not sure what my passion is because I have lost it; I already lost it, and I can’t do it anymore. I had lost the inspiration and motivation to do it, and finding it back is arduous. So I stopped for a while, took a break, took a deep breath, and started again. I use my experience as an inspiration. Gambling to try again. Forcing myself not to give up. Proving again that during challenges, my innovation comes to life. I hope that this is where I will brightly shine, just like how the leaves glow during sunshine.
Here I am igniting that passion, breaking the block in my thoughts. At once, finally, one thing is for sure: I am getting it back. Pouring out my thoughts with every move of my finger, every word that I type, every word that I erase, I’ve finally realized that passion changes over time and sometimes becomes obstructed. The block that keeps me dull is my very own weapon to break this still passion deep inside, for it to grow again— grow again to break in and develop, for it not to lay back. The passion I have will give meaning to the mission I have.
Passion may fade… fall down at times but surely, it will restore and intensify, as strong as the will to achieve those prizes of success. The autumn may come, and snow may fall down, but the spring will also come and it will bloom and grow again.